4 Responses

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  1. mshutts
    mshutts February 27, 2009 at 3:52 pm |

    Umm, I think you missed a continuity point when revising. You mentioned that they were looking at and commenting on his ears. I thought they were covered up by a hat in the first chapter. When did he lose the hat?

  2. Kiana
    Kiana May 5, 2009 at 1:31 pm |

    2 general comments here–I’m no city girl, so I don’t know the usual amount one gives a street performer, especially one that just stands around in a costume, but $10 seems a bit much. The smallest Japanese paper denomination is 1000 yen, which is approximately $10 USD. I think he’d more likely get a variety of coins. Those come in 500 yen($5), 100 yen ($1), 50 yen ($0.50), 10 yen ($0.10), 5 yen ($0.05), and 1 yen ($0.01) denominations. Inuyasha, if the print weren’t so tiny, could easily read the kanji numbers on them, but as the yen wasn’t used in his time, the actual ‘yen’ kanji might be odd, especially if it had a different meaning in classical Japanese. At least the yen system is easier than the ryou or mon that he would be used to so he should be able to understand it instantly I think.

    My second comment is on your use of ‘ferenghis’. I think it would be better to just say ‘foreigners’. While ‘ferenghi’ may be the proper term, I think most U.S. readers will associate it with the name of the Star Trek race. ^-^;;
    Even the Japanese wikipedia talks about Star Trek. According to the Jim Breen online Japanese/English dictionary, ‘nanbanjin’ would be accurate.

    “Nanbanjin-(n) (archaic) southern barbarian (used to describe Western Europeans who visited Japan prior to the Edo period, especially the Spanish and the Portuguese)”

    Hope this helps some…sorry if I’m being too talky–my major is linguistics so I like researching words and stuff…

  3. Charmaine
    Charmaine July 10, 2009 at 8:27 am |

    Again, much improvement. On the other 2 girls deaths, where was Inuyasha during this?
    Still with Kagome? How far from the area where he was searching? Why did he not scent blood?

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