10 Responses

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  1. mshutts
    mshutts February 27, 2009 at 1:16 pm |

    First off, let me say that I am very happy to see that you are working on this fic again. I had hoped that it would not be completely abandoned. That would have been a real shame since I really like the plot-line.

    Secondly, if I might make a comment? I noticed that in the rewrite you mention the existence of the park killers right before Kagome gets attacked. Forgive me if I’m wrong, but I seem to recall not finding out this bit of information until AFTER the attack in the previous version.

    Personally, I prefer not finding out until after the attack for a couple of reasons. One of which is that by being told about them before the attack, it takes a lot of the surprise out of the attack. It also removes the confusion that Kagome feels about what is going on from the minds of the readers.

    That, and it’s a lot more poignant to find out that if she hadn’t escaped she would have died at the same time as she or Inuyasha finds out. It helps the readers to feel the same sense of shocked relief as the characters that she did, in fact, get away.

    I suppose what I am trying to say is I think that not knowing quite what is actually going adds to the overall atmosphere you are trying to create. Anyway, it’s just a thought. You are, of course, free to ignore it.

    On a side note, I like how you added in the phone number on a piece of paper while he was out hunting. Nice touch.

  2. Shay
    Shay March 6, 2009 at 10:16 pm |

    I’m soooooo happy!! I remember reading this story a couple years ago and was so sad when it was not finished. I only just found this site when I was serching for something else on google, lol.

  3. mshutts
    mshutts March 6, 2009 at 11:46 pm |

    Glad to be of help. To be perfectly honest, I only commented on it at all because I knew it was being rewritten. If it was in its finalized form, I would not have said anything seeing as it’s not that big of a deal. But, since it’s being rewritten… I figured, what the hey? I might as well say something.

  4. JMaxwell
    JMaxwell April 12, 2009 at 11:24 pm |

    I think you’ve really improved things with this. I’m looking forward to the story moving ahead, and I’m glad you’ve gotten around to finishing it.

  5. Kin Pandun
    Kin Pandun April 30, 2009 at 11:54 am |

    LOVED the original of this story on FF.Net. Just re-read the whole thing up to Chapter 25 (Souta, Inuyasha and Shippou Naptime). However, on here it says, X/27 after the title. Where are the other two chapters that happen after 25? How do you wrap all of that up in two chapters? Personally, I don’t care if you re-write it or not, I just want the plot to move forward! We’ve all waited a really long time for this! I would dearly love to read more from this series.

    Thanks for writing,

  6. Kiana
    Kiana May 5, 2009 at 2:42 am |

    Glad to see you’re working on this story again. After all these years, it still remains my favorite fanfiction. ^-^;; I even drew a fanart for it ages ago. It’s gotten many ‘favorites’ on deviantart.

    So far as this new version goes, I think it sounds a bit drier, but it’s still pretty good. The dialogue hasn’t changed that I could notice, which was a relief. There were a few homonym mistakes, however. The one that comes to mind first is peal/peel. If you need a native English proofreader, I’d be happy to oblige.

    As to the gun issue, when I was in Kyoto studying Japanese, I never saw any guns on the officers, but then I wasn’t really looking for them. I found this article: http://www.guncite.com/journals/dkjgc.html
    It may help give you an idea of gun usage in Japan, especially section VI as it pertains to law enforcement. I know they have air guns which shoot plastic pellets that one can buy at many stores, however I think you need a license.

    Anyway, I hope that helps. I’m so happy you’re writing Present Time again~! Keep up the good work!

  7. Charmaine
    Charmaine July 10, 2009 at 7:45 am |

    Wonderful, much smoother then first version.
    I too have waited a long time for this. You will knock their socks off with this!

  8. chris
    chris July 11, 2009 at 11:25 am |

    I have read your original story a couple of times and really enjoyed it despite the fact that it wasn’t finished, it’s good to see it progressing again and i will enjoy reading this new version.

  9. lbbabey
    lbbabey February 20, 2010 at 11:33 am |

    lol.. It took me a while to find this little box. But OMFG!!! I was sooo shocked when I checked your fanfiction.net page and stumbled upon this new improved Present Times. I feel like my hearts just about ready to burst through my chest. Thank you soooo much for posting this. =D

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