6 Responses

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  1. jan_aq
    jan_aq January 12, 2005 at 10:06 am |

    “…but soon she settled absorbed by her fists.” ? Does that mean that she was being distracted by her hands/fists?

    “Although he knew the existed as Mrs. Weasley used them.” they

    “Now he had acquired a daughter she did not know how to be a son, much less how to be a parent.” Cut into two sentences. ‘He did not know how to be a son, much…’

    “…decided she wanted to keep hen grandchild.” her

    “Harry could not remember she ever being nice before.” her ever

    “He was no longer going to let that pair bully and get the better of him.” I can read it and see it right but it’s a tricky sentence that not everyone will know. You could change it to ‘let that pair of bullies get the better of him.’

    “To save as world that had done nothing …” a world

    “She needed him if she was to grow up with someone to care for her.” someone who cared for her.

    “Sirius’ death still pained him immensely it was very recent …” immenseley- it was…

    …”then it was absorbed by Arien, who squealed happily and apparently unaffected by whatever that thing had been.” who squealed happily, apparently…

    You repeat part of the chapter after this paragraph: “Her name was Elizabeth McNamara and she was an American…”

    Wow!! Awesome story! 😀 I’m captivated altough nothing has really happened yet- it’s just been back story. Well done! I guess you really really like to write about babies! XD I had such a fun tonight reading all your little WIPs. Thank you!

  2. animealam
    animealam January 12, 2005 at 12:35 pm |

    Thanks :)!

    I’m glad you like them and your input is great, some of the things you mentioned I have already corrected, as they were typhos, others I’ll work on them.

    Also on the babies part, well I was looking for something that was not overdone. That’s why I began Unexpected Child (by the way I’ll upload what I have of chapter 3 soon). Then for Second Chance I realized there were not many Severus is a baby stories and I just went off in that direction.

    For this last set of baby stories (I have three more that are similar to this one) you have to blame ‘Harry Potter and the Child Legilimens’, ‘Birthday Surprises’ (This one is a Harry/Ginny story that I would have never read if it wasn’t because that romance started about the last chapters of the story) and ‘Meeting the Family’ by bluediablo. They just got the muses slightly (or a lot) obsessed with the idea.

  3. jan_aq
    jan_aq January 12, 2005 at 4:01 pm |

    You’re updating Unexpected Child!?!?!

    YES!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    That story… is the cruelest, most amazing two chapters that I have ever read. Seriously. I don’t think that I have read anything more intense that leaves one panting and desperately pressing the Refresh button to see if there is more. Yes some other fics come close but Unexpected Child- it’s like my favourite. I’m so happy!!!! *_*

    And I figured that most of the mistakes were typos. I’m glad to hear that you’ve corrected most of them. Coolness.

    Ah. *so happy* How soon is soon? :}

  4. animealam
    animealam January 12, 2005 at 8:10 pm |

    I just uploaded a tidbit for you, there’s not much yet there but hopefully my nephew will deliver the draf he was supposed to type.
    Mike was supposed to type this during the holidays but… *sigh* teenage boys usually have waaayyy too many social compromised to do much else.

    Also if you’re interested and have acrobat reader I can upload the scans from the original draft of Unexpected Child so you can download it to you computer and read it. It’s really as is, since I wrote about 82 pages in two days (talk about a brainstorm) so it does have quite a few errors, both in grammar and spelling. Still if you want there won’t be any trouble to upload it.

    Also to upload things to the site I use two programs. Macromedia Dreamweaver MX (it’s really expensive, over $400.00 USD) and WS_FTP LE (which has been discontinued). It was free, but now the one that came in it’s place is not.
    If you plan on buying there’s something else, that I think will let you not only upload files to the site but also edit html files as well as php. (The skins files are php with html and the extension is tpl) Sound confusing but they really aren’t. I can’t remember the name of the program, but I’ll e-mail you tomorrow (or later today actually) with the link for it.

  5. jan_aq
    jan_aq January 12, 2005 at 8:18 pm |

    Alright, thank you. That last program sounded really great- somethig to edit the skins would be wonderful! I think I can convince my mom into buying another php program even if it’s expensive. We have Microsoft Frontpage but the dumb thing wouldn’t work for my mum (wouldn’t upload to the site) but maybe it will work for me… I’ll have to try it out sometime but still I’d rather just use a different program and it might work for her too! The only thing Miscrosoft Front page is good for is learning code. 😐

    I don’t have Adobe but I think that I can wait. 😀 I’m sure that the story will be much better once you look through it and make corrections and stuff anyway. 🙂 *happy dance* Waiting makes the pleasure that much sweeter. Haven’t you ever saved your desert or chocolate for a little while, building up the anticipation so that when you finally ate it that it would taste that much better? *_*

    Ah ok. Email me when you have the chance. 🙂

  6. jan_aq
    jan_aq October 25, 2006 at 1:23 am |

    Hey animealam. 🙂 I’m just wondering if you have been getting my e-mails in your yahoo account. 🙂 I haven’t heard from you yet. They’re about me (my IP number) being blocked from the site completely.

    chocolate frogs,

    Jan

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