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  1. jan_aq
    jan_aq December 16, 2004 at 8:04 am |

    “(YES you can be gentle when you want to, don’t deny it. You even rocked him and SANG him lullabies when he was restless)” When was that? When Harry was a baby and Snape visited or later on.. is it something Lily saw in a seer dream?

    “In Duncan’s letter there is a list of helpful spells, charms curses and hexes.” spells, charms, curses. You were missing a comma.

    “Remus is not a bad person Sev and Sirius prank hurt him” Sirius’

    “Spotting that kind of children” Spotting that kind of child or spotting those kinds of children.

    “Only the old coot knew Severus had performed the ‘Bloodlines Rite’ and he had his full vampire senses despite being completely human. Unlike the werewolf, who had only half of his wolf senses while human.” the ‘unlike the werewolf..’ part is a phrase, an incomplete sentence and needs to be put with something else or joined with another sentence.

    This was an awesome chapter! Woah! I love how Snape in the end decided to go spying on Harry-Duncan tomorrow to see what he looks like now. I can’t wait! The reasoning is so elaborate, the skills and little things are so mapped out. Well done!

  2. animealam
    animealam December 17, 2004 at 5:57 am |

    Thanks for the comments Jan and the editing corrections. I’ll work on them this weekend and see if I can have the chapter done by Sunday. Can I post the update at Potions and Snitches?

  3. jan_aq
    jan_aq January 12, 2005 at 1:39 am |

    Of course! 🙂 Haha.. i’m wading through your journal looking for all the littl plot bunnies and bits of stories I missed and haven’t left reviews for when I came across this. XD

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